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IT’S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN. A new year cometh. An old year goeth. It’s amazing to me how fast time just goes hustling by. It seems like so much has happened in the past year. And it seems like I have gotten very little done. Mainly, I think because much of my measure of time is based on school, on teaching, and on the progress (or lack thereof) of my dissertation, time seems to move by quickly but relatively homogenously. It all seems the same. Day in, day out. But, as with years past, a little reflection will help me see that a lot has transpired, a lot has changed, and I have changed. Let there be a list!

101 Things I Did in 2009

1. I opened 2009 with full-blown pneumonia in my left lung.
2. My pneumonia was bad enough that I had to cancel the first week of class Winter Quarter and I had to go to the hospital.
3. I stayed overnight in the UW Medical Center. It was the first time ever that I’ve stayed in a hospital room.
4. I taught ENGL 207: Introduction to Cultural Studies: “Virtual Worlds and Video Games.
5. I made students play World of Warcraft for class.
6. I read and taught Shelley Jackson’s My Body for the first time. It’s is a wonderful, sexy, strange, and provocative text — worthy of a line of its own.
7. I suffered in the wake of the financial crisis, financial meltdown, and budgetary cuts of 2009. In particular, I witnessed Greg losing his job, I watched my department try to figure out what to do with less money than ever before, and I waited and waited to see if I would get funding for my 5th year of school.
8. I saw Slumdog Millionaire.
9. I got bronchitis after the pneumonia cleared up.
10. I welcomed the Year of the Ox.
11. I had my prospectus defense shortly after Chinese New Year.
12. I saw Fanboys.
13. I went to several meetings about the Department of English budget crisis and served as the English Graduate Student Organization liaison.
14. I saw Dean Spade give a talk on “Transgender Youth” at the UW School of Social Work.
15. I saw Push.
16. I went (with Greg) to a really good panel of professional graphic designers at the Cornish College of the Arts. The panel included Robynne Raye from Modern Dog.
17. I won a prize at the Jump Start panel at Cornish. It was an advertisement pack of air fresheners.
18. I saw Watchmen.
19. My video game class was featured in a story in the UW Daily: “Get Your Game On.”
20. I worried about my funding for school. A lot.
21. Greg and I took a short trip down to San Francisco in March. It was a spring break trip for me and a birthday trip for him. And it was to attend a conference.
22. I attended the Conference on College Composition and Communication (the 4Cs) as part of a panel I organized called “Save Points: Gaming as Writing, Production, and Play in the Contact Zone.” Alenda was part of the panel. And my friend Jamie was part of the panel.
23. I went to an crazy and awesome party during CCCC thrown by Bedford/St. Martin Press. The party was in San Francisco’s City Hall.
24. While in SF and staying at Hotel Triton, we were evacuated early in the morning due to a fire in the building. A first for me.
25. While visiting my sister, we took a road trip to Pescadero, CA.
26. I went to the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.
27. I taught ENGL 242: Reading Fiction: “Not Your Average High School Novel Class: Re-Reading as Critical Practice.”
28. I taught CHID 496: Focus Group: “Heroes & Monsters: Understanding Live-Action Role-Playign Games.” In other words, I revived Archaea at the University of Washington.
29. I had PhDepression a lot.
30. Because of the PhDepression, I watched a lot of television, particularly Will & Grace on Lifetime.
31. I was awarded the UW Excellence in Teaching Award for 2009.
32. I attended organizational meetings for a new queer studies working group at the UW.
33. I attended organizational meetings for the Critical Gaming Project at UW.
34. I went to a talk by Karen Tongson called “Sound Migrations: Listening to the Suburbs.”
35. I went to the Queer Worlds Crossdisciplinary Research Cluster’s symposium “The Will to Institutionality” at UW.
36. I celebrated my 39th birthday. I had a modest EDstravaganza 2009. The them was “13 going on 39.”
37. I saw Star Trek. I really liked the remake and the reimagining of the original series.
38. I saw X-Men Origins: Wolverine.
39. I was written up in the departmental newsletter English Matters for my teaching award. 40. I went to my friend Matt Wilson’s PhD defense presentation.
41. I attended planning meetings for Summer LEAP 2009.
42. I revised and reorganized the Summer LEAP website.
43. I entered an online contest for Top Chef Masters and won a Top Chef Masters Premier B-Hive Party Pack.
44. I saw Up.
45. I had lunch (with Greg) at one of the handful of taco trucks in the Seattle area. We went to El Carreton (15001 Aurora Avenue, Shoreline, WA). It was yummy.
46. I attended the UW Best & Brightest 2009 award ceremony.
47. I was given a medal (my first one ever) and a framed certificate for my Excellence in Teaching Award. Oh, and a sizable award check, too. It was awesome.
48. I was asked to give a speech at the Department of English’s 2009 graduation ceremony. I was the first one to speak. It was a nerve-wracking five minutes, but I think I pulled it off.
49. I went to see RENT with Greg, Jason, and Karl at the Paramount Theatre.
50. I was awarded a full year of funding for my fifth year. A great relief.
51. I turned in a draft of my first dissertation chapter.
52. I started going to Greg’s gym once a week.
53. I went to Seattle Pride. I even got pulled into the pride parade to walk with the UW contingent. It was fun.
54. Greg and I took a day trip down to Olympia, WA.
55. While in Olympia, we visited the Capitol building.
56. While in Olympia, we went to the oldest gay bars in the city called Jake’s on 4th.
57. I attended my friend Sydney’s production of The Wiz: A Queer Multicultural Cabaret.
58. I taught ENGL 108: Writing Ready for Summer LEAP. The class used to be called GIS 140 but finally got an ENGL designation.
59. I saw Bruno.
60. I saw Food, Inc.. One of my favorite (yet disturbing) documentaries.
61. I saw Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
62. I did very little work on my dissertation over the summer. Mainly, it was because I was waiting for feedback from my dissertation advisor. I did not know how I should proceed or if what I had turned in was on the right track. The PhDepression continued. 63. Greg and I crossed the year and a half mark. It was an important milestone. My relationship with him is still good. It’s the longest relationship I have had to date. I love him very much.
64. I adopted a cat named Pigeon from my friend Jamie.
65. I changed the color scheme of my website. Welcome the midnight indigo.
66. I was invited to do a podcast for On the Boards, a contemporary performing arts organization in Seattle. They wanted a podcast about video games and video game studies. It would be paired with a dance performance that involves video game technology.
67. I saw District 9, a really surprising and smart movie.
68. I helped submit a proposal to the Simpson Center for the Humanities at UW to fund a queer studies research cluster called Queer + Public + Performance. We got accepted but did not get all of the money we hoped for.
69. I started a blog for the Queer + Public + Performance.
70. I saw 9, which was directed by an old high school friend of mine.
71. I went to see the artists of MadArt: The Window Art Project in Madison Park. My friend Julia Freeman was part of the show.
72. I checked out a lot of books for my dissertation. Most of them sit nicely on my shelf in a neat little pile.
73. I started my fifth year as a grad student (though technically I’m counted as a 6th year since I came in with my MA).
74. I was nominated for and received a Humanities, Arts, Science, and Technology Advanced Collaboratory (HASTAC) Scholars fellowship.
75. I taught ENGL 281: Intermediate Expository Writing: “10 Things I Hate About Writing, Or, A Writers Bootcamp. It was my first time teaching the course, and it was an interesting experiment.
76. Along with my friend Timothy Welsh, we taught CHID 496: Focus Group: “Bioshock: Cyborg Morality and Posthuman Choice.”
77. I became thoroughly enamored with Glee.
78. I finally got a hold of, met with, and got some direction from my dissertation advisor. It was nearly four months since I had turned in my chapter draft. I was nearly out of my mind with stress and worry. I thought that he thought my draft was terrible, that he didn’t want to work with me anymore, that he didn’t know how to tell me he was going to quit my committee. But, he was just busy. I now have some feedback. Now I just have to figure out how to do the work, to sort out my ideas, and to write.
79. I read the first of the Twilight series. I really did not like it. In fact, it took me months to get through it. But I figured I needed to have some reference since my students are all crazy about it.
80. My roommate Jane got the recent installment of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series, The Gathering Storm. It was finally released and is one of three “final” books of the series since Jordan passed away. I read it after she finished with it. It was entertaining and interesting to see how the ghost writer handled Jordan’s world. At least things happen in this novel!
81. Greg and I went to the Seattle March for Equality on National Coming Out Day.
82. I finished Book 30 of my (handwritten) journals, and I began Book 31.
83. Like last year, Greg and I got passes to the Seattle Lesbian & Gay Film Festival. We saw eight showings. It was exhausting but a lot of fun.
84. I continued to work on my dissertation, trying to reframe and revise my first chapter. Alas, to little avail.
85. Greg and I went to the Seattle Art Museum REMIX. It was a lot of fun.
86. I kept playing World of Warcraft. Greg had started the year playing with me but has since given up.
87. I revived the English Graduate Student Organization becoming one of the executive officers and helping to redesign the GSO website.
88. I spent entirely too much time on Facebook.
89. Greg and I went to a Halloween party thrown by friends of friends. It was fully of mostly bears and radical fairies. It was fun.
91. I spent entirely too much time playing Farmville on Facebook.
92. I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for Jane, myself, and Jane’s boyfriend, Chris.
93. I started a Tellings group in Seattle. Finally. The group consists of three friends from school: Mike, Curtis, and Rebecca. Two friends from Seattle: Josh and Andrea (though I knew them from my SF days). And Greg. It’s been a really awesome time so far.
94. I started planning the next revision of the Tellings book, which will hopefully be done sometime in the summer of 2010. It will be the 20th Anniversary edition of Tellings. To help me, I finally got the Tellings blog going.
95. I organized a GSO Autumn Social at the College Inn Pub. It went really well, and we even got some funding from the department.
96. Speaking of which, I drank a little too much in 2009. Probably.
97. Greg and I took a short trip down to SF for the Christmas holiday.
98. While in the Bay Area, I went to the top of Mount Tamalpais and visited Muir Beach.
99. I made Christmas Eve dinner at my sister’s place in Berkeley, CA.
100. I saw Avatar in 3D.
101. Greg and I celebrated our two year anniversary on New Year’s Eve night. We just stayed in. I made dinner. We drank a little champagned. And we watched a movie. It was a lovely way to end the year.

It’s too bad that the PhDepression never really got resolved or went away. I think even though I had a lot going on last year, the whole of the year was colored by the fact that I have this huge project looming over my head. Intellectually, emotionally, and physically, I have not been totally one hundred percent. But I am taking care of that. I am taking care of myself. I have to, obviously. So, I think things like getting my gaming group going and going to the gym and trying to just enjoy my time (even if it’s keeping me from my diss) are giving me energy back, giving me hope, and giving me a reason to keep going.

Here’s to a better year. Here’s to a great, productive, happy, awesome, exciting, interesting, successful, sexy, fun, and fascinating 2010. Happy new year!

FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND JEFF!  I hope he is well and has a great day. Second of all, Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! And third of all, Happy Inauguration Eve!  (I’m sure the poetics of the inauguration of Barack Obama falling so close to MLK Day will not be lost, even though such logics bespeak of certain racialized — if not racist — hopes and desires and guilt.  But, let me be positive and “yes we can”-y for now.)

In other important, national news, it’s been about a week since I finished my course of antibiotics.  Moxifloxicin.  What a great name. I think I should name my next cat Moxiflox or Moxifloxi.  I definitely feel better.  I no longer feel like I’ve been dragged through the sewers.  Fever is gone.  Aches are gone.  General well-being is up.  Energy is returning.  But, I am still resting and recovering and healing. I still have a little bit of a cough, which thanks to an inhaler is lessening each day.  And I still can’t really exert myself too much.  I get tired fast and out of breath fast still.

I went back to work last week.  I taught Monday through Thursday.  It’s been really good to go back to my routine and back into the classroom.  I was feeling bad for having to cancel the first week of classes.  And I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to get caught up. But things are moving along swimmingly. I think we’re back on track.  Though, I must admit that I have never taught this class before, and I am learning as much as my students are about how to structure things, about the readings and the game texts, and about what it means to study, do, use, analyze, and understand “cultural studies.”  I’ve framed my class with the idea that we’ll look at certain cultural studies terms, ideas, interventions, and keywords as we dive into “virtual world” and “video game” texts. In other words, the games we play and the texts we explore become the occasions for thinking about cultural studies perspectives and methodologies. But the class is set up so that we’re thinking about the texts first, then linking them up to the cultural studies second.  It’s inductive, but I think productive.

The first part of last week, I just went in to school (early since I go in with Jane, who teaches at 8:30 AM, and I teach at 9:30 AM), taught, and then went home. Walking across campus was more tiring than I expected.  On Thursday of last week, I decided to see if I could do a full day.  I went in, taught, had office hours, had lunch, hung out, had collegial hours in the afternoon, then went to pub. By the end of the day, I was exhausted.  There is something qualitatively different about sitting at home and resting (or “doing nothing”) and sitting in my office or on campus resting and “doing nothing.”  I think it’s because at school I am always “on” and talking to students, talking to people, watching my behavior, doing work, thinking about work, being extroverted, and such.

Thursday was also an emotional day because Greg got laid off from work.  I was on chat around lunch time, and he told me that he had just lost his job. He called me shortly thereafter to tell me what happened.  Basically, his company was downsizing.  In his workgroup, he and one another senior person got laid off.  It’s all about saving money, right?  Why pay a senior employee’s salary when you can pay someone much less to do the same job? I think it was a shock to him (though he had a feeling the week before about it).  It was definitely a shock to me. I thought he was safe given that he worked on key projects and applications for his company. I could tell he was shaken. He’s in good shape, though. He’s got a generous severance package, and his company is bending over backwards to make the “transition” a good one. Of course, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to get dumped. Greg met up with me at the pub.  We talked. He talked. He commiserated. He vented. I think it was good for him to get out.  And I think this can be a good opportunity for him if he’s creative, proactive, graceful, and patient.  He needs to not take it personally, though.  He’ll be okay.  He’ll be more than okay. Besides, he’s got good friends, good contacts, lots of experience, family, and me.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much spent just hanging out, decompressing, and doing more of the “resting” thing. Friday night, one of Greg’s (former) coworkers had a little gathering at her fancy house on the coast of western Magnolia.  It was way out there. The party was “German sausage” themed.  Basically, they served different sausages, sauerkraut, pretzels, and German beer and sweets.  I brought the fixings for my almost world famous “ginger cape cods,” which I should name “Tina Louises” or “Ginger Grants.”  The party was okay. I was really tired.  And I really didn’t know anyone there.  Plus it was mostly “grown up” types, I guess, consisting of couples and professional world people and such. Even though most of these people are in my age group, I don’t feel like I am in their circles and leagues. I’m fine with that, actually, but it makes for awkward conversations. I had a nice time and am glad that I can hang out with Greg and his friends. But afterward it was nice to go home, be quiet, and sleep.

Greg got World of Warcraft as a holiday present from his mom.  So, he’s been slowly learning how to play the game.  We spent the weekend playing together.  He made a Draenei warrior named Missoula.  I made a Draenei shaman named Ocoro.  In just a few days, we’ve hit level 12.  He’s still getting used to everything.  There’s a lot to take in in WoW and a lot to learn how to do.  But it’s been fun, diverting, and distracting.  I think I get a little bossy, though, because much of the game is second nature to me.  It’s been a really long time since I’ve met a completely new player to WoW.  But Greg’s bright and just by playing around he’ll get it in no time.  Interestingly, I bet a number of my students taking my class will also be WoW newbies, and I’ll have to try to find ways to ease them into the game. I think, though, that part of the challenge of learning a game is part of the fun (or can be part of the fun, I should say).

Saturday was spent mostly hanging out and playing WoW.  Then we went to see Slumdog Millionaire, which was good but a little rougher than I expected. I also expect the current hype surrounding the movie might do well to be filtered through a little bit of Edward Said.  Moreover, the “feel good movie”- and “triumph of the human spirit”-ness of the film does little to stray from conventional narratives about rugged individualism, the “American Dream” or better yet the “Capitalist Dream,” and idealized romantic love.  That said, I think there are things about the film that are brilliant.  I particularly like the actors of the first third of the film; the kids are amazing.  The images of the city are staggering and dense.  And I love the music, particularly M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” remix and A. R. Rahman’s “Jai Ho” used in the closing credits. I would have liked a little more commentary on issues like class, race, religion, and such. But I very much liked it and recommend it.

Sunday was spent hanging out some more. Greg and I did head up to Alderwood to check out the Circuit City ”going out of business” sale — which alas was not really a sale and the quality of the store seriously bespoke of why the company was bell up. I did pick up a few things, but for the most part the sale prices couldn’t beat Amazon’s regular prices or Best Buy’s prices or even Target’s everyday prices. After Circuit “Shitty,” we hit up our favorite gay-for-pay store, Target.  We went there mostly for household sundries, but I did manage to pick up a couple of really good deals on an orange hoodie, a shirt, and a vest (though I think I’m going to have to take the vest back because everyone says it makes me look like I’m trying to be a gangster).  The rest of Sunday was spent WoWing.

Now, it’s Monday.  A day off.  And I’m trying to get caught up with some little projects here and there.  That’s about it.  Hopefully, it’ll be a good week and a good rest of the month.  Chinese New Year is next Monday.  I hope for a better new year than the one I just had.  More soon.

WELCOME TO ANOTHER YEAR! Happy new year! It seems like 2008 went by really fast. Last year was a filled-to-the-brim year. A lot of things happened. A lot of things got accomplished. A lot of things are still waiting on the jury. Hopefully 2009 will be just as good, just a bright, just as productive, and just as fun plus one. Just a little bit more, please. And go lightly on the bad, the crap, the sad, the disappointing, the troubling, the bruises and the bumps, and the treating people badly (here and abroad).

101 Things I Did in 2008

1. I met Greg on New Year’s Eve. He let me kiss him at midnight.

2. After a couple of emails, Greg and I had our first official date. Dinner and a movie.

3. I saw The Savages (with Greg).

4. I did some last minute reading, cramming, and pre-writing for my PhD exams, including writing one whole essay a week ahead of time banking my committee would ask me that particular question.

5. I saw In the Name of the King.

6. I went to English Grad Pub the Thursday before my exams. I got well-wishes and just wanted to have an “everyday” night before I took my writtens.

7. I took my written PhD exams over the weekend of January 25-28.

8. I saw Juno.

9. I went to a little house party at Lindsay’s.

10. I saw Cloverfield.

11. I taught ENGL 242 E: “Literature as Worldmaking” during Winter quarter.

12. I passed my writtens.

13. I prepped for my oral exams.

14. I celebrated Chinese New Year, the Year of the Rat, but did not make dumplings.

15. I passed my orals on Valentine’s Day.

16. I had a Valentine’s Day date with Greg.

17. I saw The Spiderwick Chronicles.

18. I saw Jumper.

19. I went with Greg to a presentation of the documentary films It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School (from 1996) and the 2007 follow-up It’s Still Elementary, which were presented by the Safe Schools Coalition.

20. I started to try to plot my dissertation prospectus.

21. I taught my ENGL 111: Critical Approaches to Harry Potter class again for the Spring Quarter.

22. I took a trip with Greg to San Francisco in late March. I wanted to visit my sister, take a little vacation, and hang out with Greg. It was a really great trip.

23. While in SF, Greg and I stayed at a fancy, boutique hotel called
Hotel Triton.

24. I visited the De Young Fine Arts Museum of San Francisco for the first time ever.

25. I went to the ocean while in SF. It is one of my most favorite things to do.

26. While visiting with my sister, she took Greg and I to explore and to wine-taste in Sonoma.

27. We went to the Roshambo winery.

28. We went to the Benziger winery.

29. We went to the Kunde winery.

30. I had a burrito from the Mission, from Taqueria Cancun. Yum.

31. Greg and I reached three months together.

32. I worked on an article on composition and computer games for Computers and Composition Online.

33. I attended a Queer Worlds lecture by Elizabeth Povinelli called “The Obligations of Intimacy.”

34. I was an officer for the English Department’s Graduate Student Organization.

35. I attended my friend Andrew’s annual kegger, where I created my first ever “chipscape.”

36. I saw Iron Man, which I liked a lot.

37. I helped launch the English GSO’s wiki on departmental procedures, information, and lore.

38. I turned 38.

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