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DECEMBER. I cannot believe that the year is almost over. They say that as you get older your sense of time passing seems to speed up. All I know is that I barely remember this year going by. I mean I am sure I did all sorts of things. But right now I don’t have the wherewithal to summon them up. I guess I will have to wait till I write up my yearly “101 Things I Did Last Year” posts. The last three months have been a blur. I think it has something to do with the fact that I’ve been trying to work on my dissertation and having little success at it. Because my dissertation is on my mind, because it hasn’t been going well, it is just a huge psychic sink. Time, thought, life, energy, and even a little hope just get lost down that drain. I am hoping that the new year will bring some new inspiration and motivation. Better yet: I wish for my dissertation to be done next year.

Meanwhile, I have stayed busy otherwise. Grad life, teaching, life-life are also vying for my attention and devotion. I have been busier this quarter than I have been in past quarters, I think. Even though, technically, I have more time to myself since I don’t have classwork. It’s all give and take. I gain time by being out of classes but I spend that time doing things like committee work, teaching work, or socializing.

I just got back from a whirlwind trip to San Francisco. Greg and I left on Wednesday really early in the morning. And we got back late last night. The purpose of the trip was to get away for a few days, to spend the holidays down in the Bay Area, to see my sister, and to meet up with my father. I had been hounding my father to have a little family reunion this year. My sister and I haven’t seen him face to face in a long while. I think it should become a tradition of ours to meet up once a year. Pick a city. Meet in that city. See each other. Catch up. That sort of thing. Part of the reason why we don’t meet up is because both my sister and I are grad students caught up in the grad vortext. Part of the reason is because it’s just darned expensive to travel these days. And part of the reason is because my stepmother really just doesn’t go out of her way (and hence my father’s way by default) to accommodate us. But this year my sister and I managed to get my father to take a trip out West. Of course, instead of just flying to Seattle or SF to see us, he books a tour of California. Originally, the tour would take him through San Francisco the days around Christmas. So, I planned my trip down to coincide with his trip. Alas, because of wintry East Coast weather and other snafus, his tour got shifted around. So, I got to see Alenda and Brian. And he’ll catch up with my sister later, closer to New Year’s.

It was a jam packed trip, and I always like going to SF. Greg and I flew out of Seattle at like 6:40 AM, got into SFO two hours later, got picked up by Alenda and Brian. We went to walk around the Embarcadero and the Ferry Building. Then we visited Coit Tower and saw the wild parrots of Telegraph Hill. It was awesome (and meant more to me after seeing the documentary). Then we met up with my sister and her boyfriend’s friend John-Mark for lunch at Park Chow. Then we drove over the Golden Gate to go to the top of Mount Tamalpais, to walk around Muir Beach, and to have a drink at the Pelican Inn’s pub. Then we headed back to The City. They dropped us off at our hotel, the Hotel Triton, of course. Greg and I had a wash-up and a rest. Then we bussed down to the Castro, had a burrito, and then went out drinking. It was nearly 2 AM by the time we got back to the hotel to crash. We had been up for almost twenty-four hours. Can you say tired?

Wednesday was Christmas Eve. We got up at a leisurely time, had a quick bite to eat, and then BARTed over to Berkeley. My sister took us grocery shopping at the famed Berkeley Bowl. Then I spent most of the afternoon making dinner: citrus-fennel roast turkey, horseradish mashed potatoes, mushroom stuffing, oven-roasted brussel sprouts and beets, homemade cranberry sauce, and sauteed kale. We hung out with some of my sister’s grad school friends. Ate. Drank. Played PS3. It was a fun night.

Thursday, Christmas Day, Greg and I got up and checked out of the hotel. We headed over to my sister’s place. We hung out a little, ate some leftovers, and then decided to go see a movie. We watched Avatar (in 3D). It was entertaining. Full of issues (mainly that its narrative isn’t really anything new: cowboys and indians, Heart of Darkness, going native, colonization, racism, imperialism, sci-fi Others, and so on). And interesting to think about in terms of telepresence technology, embodiment, and all that jazz. After the movie, we tried to find a Chinese restaurant to eat at in the South Bay. The first restaurant we went to was totally busy and crazy and kind of ignored us. Then we decided on a nearby (slightly dodgy) restaurant called Fat Wong’s. Dinner was okay. Afterward, they took us to the airport, we got on a plane, and got back into the Seattle area around 1:30 AM.

Here are some photos from the first day in San Francisco. Ferry Building. Then Coit Tower. Then lunch.

Then we hiked around Mount Tamalpais.

Then we went to Muir Beach.

Here are some pictures from getting dinner ready on Christmas Eve.

Now I am ready to recover from my vacation.

More soon.

FIRST OF ALL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FRIEND JEFF!  I hope he is well and has a great day. Second of all, Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day! And third of all, Happy Inauguration Eve!  (I’m sure the poetics of the inauguration of Barack Obama falling so close to MLK Day will not be lost, even though such logics bespeak of certain racialized — if not racist — hopes and desires and guilt.  But, let me be positive and “yes we can”-y for now.)

In other important, national news, it’s been about a week since I finished my course of antibiotics.  Moxifloxicin.  What a great name. I think I should name my next cat Moxiflox or Moxifloxi.  I definitely feel better.  I no longer feel like I’ve been dragged through the sewers.  Fever is gone.  Aches are gone.  General well-being is up.  Energy is returning.  But, I am still resting and recovering and healing. I still have a little bit of a cough, which thanks to an inhaler is lessening each day.  And I still can’t really exert myself too much.  I get tired fast and out of breath fast still.

I went back to work last week.  I taught Monday through Thursday.  It’s been really good to go back to my routine and back into the classroom.  I was feeling bad for having to cancel the first week of classes.  And I was worried that we wouldn’t be able to get caught up. But things are moving along swimmingly. I think we’re back on track.  Though, I must admit that I have never taught this class before, and I am learning as much as my students are about how to structure things, about the readings and the game texts, and about what it means to study, do, use, analyze, and understand “cultural studies.”  I’ve framed my class with the idea that we’ll look at certain cultural studies terms, ideas, interventions, and keywords as we dive into “virtual world” and “video game” texts. In other words, the games we play and the texts we explore become the occasions for thinking about cultural studies perspectives and methodologies. But the class is set up so that we’re thinking about the texts first, then linking them up to the cultural studies second.  It’s inductive, but I think productive.

The first part of last week, I just went in to school (early since I go in with Jane, who teaches at 8:30 AM, and I teach at 9:30 AM), taught, and then went home. Walking across campus was more tiring than I expected.  On Thursday of last week, I decided to see if I could do a full day.  I went in, taught, had office hours, had lunch, hung out, had collegial hours in the afternoon, then went to pub. By the end of the day, I was exhausted.  There is something qualitatively different about sitting at home and resting (or “doing nothing”) and sitting in my office or on campus resting and “doing nothing.”  I think it’s because at school I am always “on” and talking to students, talking to people, watching my behavior, doing work, thinking about work, being extroverted, and such.

Thursday was also an emotional day because Greg got laid off from work.  I was on chat around lunch time, and he told me that he had just lost his job. He called me shortly thereafter to tell me what happened.  Basically, his company was downsizing.  In his workgroup, he and one another senior person got laid off.  It’s all about saving money, right?  Why pay a senior employee’s salary when you can pay someone much less to do the same job? I think it was a shock to him (though he had a feeling the week before about it).  It was definitely a shock to me. I thought he was safe given that he worked on key projects and applications for his company. I could tell he was shaken. He’s in good shape, though. He’s got a generous severance package, and his company is bending over backwards to make the “transition” a good one. Of course, this doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck to get dumped. Greg met up with me at the pub.  We talked. He talked. He commiserated. He vented. I think it was good for him to get out.  And I think this can be a good opportunity for him if he’s creative, proactive, graceful, and patient.  He needs to not take it personally, though.  He’ll be okay.  He’ll be more than okay. Besides, he’s got good friends, good contacts, lots of experience, family, and me.

The rest of the weekend was pretty much spent just hanging out, decompressing, and doing more of the “resting” thing. Friday night, one of Greg’s (former) coworkers had a little gathering at her fancy house on the coast of western Magnolia.  It was way out there. The party was “German sausage” themed.  Basically, they served different sausages, sauerkraut, pretzels, and German beer and sweets.  I brought the fixings for my almost world famous “ginger cape cods,” which I should name “Tina Louises” or “Ginger Grants.”  The party was okay. I was really tired.  And I really didn’t know anyone there.  Plus it was mostly “grown up” types, I guess, consisting of couples and professional world people and such. Even though most of these people are in my age group, I don’t feel like I am in their circles and leagues. I’m fine with that, actually, but it makes for awkward conversations. I had a nice time and am glad that I can hang out with Greg and his friends. But afterward it was nice to go home, be quiet, and sleep.

Greg got World of Warcraft as a holiday present from his mom.  So, he’s been slowly learning how to play the game.  We spent the weekend playing together.  He made a Draenei warrior named Missoula.  I made a Draenei shaman named Ocoro.  In just a few days, we’ve hit level 12.  He’s still getting used to everything.  There’s a lot to take in in WoW and a lot to learn how to do.  But it’s been fun, diverting, and distracting.  I think I get a little bossy, though, because much of the game is second nature to me.  It’s been a really long time since I’ve met a completely new player to WoW.  But Greg’s bright and just by playing around he’ll get it in no time.  Interestingly, I bet a number of my students taking my class will also be WoW newbies, and I’ll have to try to find ways to ease them into the game. I think, though, that part of the challenge of learning a game is part of the fun (or can be part of the fun, I should say).

Saturday was spent mostly hanging out and playing WoW.  Then we went to see Slumdog Millionaire, which was good but a little rougher than I expected. I also expect the current hype surrounding the movie might do well to be filtered through a little bit of Edward Said.  Moreover, the “feel good movie”- and “triumph of the human spirit”-ness of the film does little to stray from conventional narratives about rugged individualism, the “American Dream” or better yet the “Capitalist Dream,” and idealized romantic love.  That said, I think there are things about the film that are brilliant.  I particularly like the actors of the first third of the film; the kids are amazing.  The images of the city are staggering and dense.  And I love the music, particularly M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes” remix and A. R. Rahman’s “Jai Ho” used in the closing credits. I would have liked a little more commentary on issues like class, race, religion, and such. But I very much liked it and recommend it.

Sunday was spent hanging out some more. Greg and I did head up to Alderwood to check out the Circuit City ”going out of business” sale — which alas was not really a sale and the quality of the store seriously bespoke of why the company was bell up. I did pick up a few things, but for the most part the sale prices couldn’t beat Amazon’s regular prices or Best Buy’s prices or even Target’s everyday prices. After Circuit “Shitty,” we hit up our favorite gay-for-pay store, Target.  We went there mostly for household sundries, but I did manage to pick up a couple of really good deals on an orange hoodie, a shirt, and a vest (though I think I’m going to have to take the vest back because everyone says it makes me look like I’m trying to be a gangster).  The rest of Sunday was spent WoWing.

Now, it’s Monday.  A day off.  And I’m trying to get caught up with some little projects here and there.  That’s about it.  Hopefully, it’ll be a good week and a good rest of the month.  Chinese New Year is next Monday.  I hope for a better new year than the one I just had.  More soon.

WELCOME TO ANOTHER YEAR! Happy new year! It seems like 2008 went by really fast. Last year was a filled-to-the-brim year. A lot of things happened. A lot of things got accomplished. A lot of things are still waiting on the jury. Hopefully 2009 will be just as good, just a bright, just as productive, and just as fun plus one. Just a little bit more, please. And go lightly on the bad, the crap, the sad, the disappointing, the troubling, the bruises and the bumps, and the treating people badly (here and abroad).

101 Things I Did in 2008

1. I met Greg on New Year’s Eve. He let me kiss him at midnight.

2. After a couple of emails, Greg and I had our first official date. Dinner and a movie.

3. I saw The Savages (with Greg).

4. I did some last minute reading, cramming, and pre-writing for my PhD exams, including writing one whole essay a week ahead of time banking my committee would ask me that particular question.

5. I saw In the Name of the King.

6. I went to English Grad Pub the Thursday before my exams. I got well-wishes and just wanted to have an “everyday” night before I took my writtens.

7. I took my written PhD exams over the weekend of January 25-28.

8. I saw Juno.

9. I went to a little house party at Lindsay’s.

10. I saw Cloverfield.

11. I taught ENGL 242 E: “Literature as Worldmaking” during Winter quarter.

12. I passed my writtens.

13. I prepped for my oral exams.

14. I celebrated Chinese New Year, the Year of the Rat, but did not make dumplings.

15. I passed my orals on Valentine’s Day.

16. I had a Valentine’s Day date with Greg.

17. I saw The Spiderwick Chronicles.

18. I saw Jumper.

19. I went with Greg to a presentation of the documentary films It’s Elementary: Talking About Gay Issues in School (from 1996) and the 2007 follow-up It’s Still Elementary, which were presented by the Safe Schools Coalition.

20. I started to try to plot my dissertation prospectus.

21. I taught my ENGL 111: Critical Approaches to Harry Potter class again for the Spring Quarter.

22. I took a trip with Greg to San Francisco in late March. I wanted to visit my sister, take a little vacation, and hang out with Greg. It was a really great trip.

23. While in SF, Greg and I stayed at a fancy, boutique hotel called
Hotel Triton.

24. I visited the De Young Fine Arts Museum of San Francisco for the first time ever.

25. I went to the ocean while in SF. It is one of my most favorite things to do.

26. While visiting with my sister, she took Greg and I to explore and to wine-taste in Sonoma.

27. We went to the Roshambo winery.

28. We went to the Benziger winery.

29. We went to the Kunde winery.

30. I had a burrito from the Mission, from Taqueria Cancun. Yum.

31. Greg and I reached three months together.

32. I worked on an article on composition and computer games for Computers and Composition Online.

33. I attended a Queer Worlds lecture by Elizabeth Povinelli called “The Obligations of Intimacy.”

34. I was an officer for the English Department’s Graduate Student Organization.

35. I attended my friend Andrew’s annual kegger, where I created my first ever “chipscape.”

36. I saw Iron Man, which I liked a lot.

37. I helped launch the English GSO’s wiki on departmental procedures, information, and lore.

38. I turned 38.

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